Several months ago, we transitioned our daughter off of pacifiers, and she did great and was going to sleep without a peep. Fast forward to early in October, I went away for five days on a girl's trip with two of my closest friends and Husband obviously had the girl all to himself. Well, guess who started giving her the pacifier again?! I truly wasn't upset about it, but maybe a little frustrated I would have to get her off of it again. Three days after I got home, he left for the ship. As far as transitions go, this one was fine. He got to fly out of our local airport instead of the major airport (two hours away) and we got to spend the morning together while he packed his bag. Off he went and my girl and I came back home to business as usual. I understand that it's a very perplexing lifestyle. Afterall, I essentially operate as a single parent for half the year (not to mention just not having my favorite person around anymore. The house certainly gets VERY quiet.)
I was reminded of this when, a couple weeks later, I emailed Husband lamenting that anytime our kid doesn't get the pacifier she had some epic meltdowns. He emailed back saying "Oh no, what are we going to do??" I responded by saying "What are WE going to do? You mean what am I going to do?" We had a good laugh, but very often that is the case when he is away. (I ended up throwing away all the pacifiers and cutting her off cold turkey. I was over it! She did great, and is back to sleeping without a peep throught the night, and doing great with her nap.)
I reflect on that quippy exchange. "Do you mean what am I going to do?". The Lord is so gracious, and has let me know that it's okay to have that mindset while my husband is away. I never thought that I'd be the woman married to a man that leaves, but as I've said, here we are! I have an indepence within me, and I just thank God that my husband appreciates and encourages the attributes that come with being the one to run the household, and raise the kids when he is gone. Now it is also because of God that so far, transitioning back to Husband leading the household has been one that I gladly give over. I honestly love my role as a wife and mother. I realize that that is not a popular mindset in today's culture, and I would argue that because of that, there are a lot more unhappy men and women, single or married. God designed marriage to work in the way he did because He designed men and women to compliment each other, and have different but equal roles in the workplace and home.
Because of this job and lifestyle, I do get to stay home with my sweet girl, and I absolutely love it. I love keeping a nice house, cooking meals, and having friends over. When he gets back, we enjoy our hobbies together, we watch our favorite shows and we get to do some amazing traveling as a family. 60 days on, 60 days off. I realize that can sound like a long time but we make it work- we even thrive. God is so good to us, and on the days when the distance feels extra long, I've learned to lean into His comfort, and Joy. I have an awesome circle of friends, a great church, and a husband that knows how to encourage and love me, even when it's through a quick email.
