Have Rest For Your Soul

I just came across this picture that Chris took of us on the plane to Ft. Lauderdale. How perfectly it captures a sweet moment between my child and I. However just five minutes before Adeline was crying and squirming- trying to fall asleep on a plane is hard! I was sweaty from wrangling her in the hot airplane and self-conscious of how loud my baby was being. I had been awake since 3 AM and neither Chris or I had been able to get coffee or a snack since then. Yet, after patience and calm, and reassuring pats on her back, she calmed down and fell asleep and my sweet husband and I got to catch our breath, get organized and get some coffee into our systems. Thus we settled into our day-long journey to the East Coast.

How often these moments reflect my relationship with God! How often am I tired and cranky, squirming and crying because I don’t understand this new situation, or am not okay with being out of my comfort zone? I remember a sermon from church a couple years ago when we still lived in Boise, the pastor was making a parallel about resting in the Lord and he compared us to a child who is overtired. Sometimes when a baby gets overtired, the poor thing fights sleep even HARDER, crying for an hour or more before falling asleep. As parents we think “if you’re so tired, why don’t you just fall asleep?!”

I have found myself getting overtired, and rather than just resting and falling asleep, I resist God more emphatically. Watching two toddlers every day leading up to long days of travel, improvising new routines with the baby, and then coming home without my husband was a lot for me. Throw in baby jet lag, my sister moving in and a lot of things being up in the air with my husband’s job! 

As mothers we are constantly pouring into those around us- our children, our friends, and our family. Often times, especially when my husband is away for work, there is no one else to pour into me except God. But that begs the question, isn’t He the one I’m supposed to look to in order to be ‘filled up’ anyway? Why don’t I remember this more often? 

Matt 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I know that my “troubles” don’t hold a candle to what many other people work through and struggle with, but the comfort from the Lord is the same. Especially as mothers where we give so much of ourselves every day- just as the Lord wants us to do. I've had such a loving reminder to unburden myself at the feet of Jesus. 

Our family is in a time of transition, and rather than wiggle and squirm and fight, I’m soothed and encouraged by the Lord to just rest in him. He knows the plan, the journey, and the outcome. Why not be along for the ride?

Yes, Time Flies

In just under a week my baby will be turning one year old. As the date is coming closer and closer, I’m finding myself in a state of reflection. Every night before I turn out the light to sleep, I stare at pictures of her from one, two, three months old… slowly scrolling until I’m looking at her how she is today. How tiny she looks compared to the little person who now walks all over the house! I used to just sit with her in my arms for hours; there was nothing else she needed. Perfectly content, I would sing her songs, nurse her, burp her and she would fall right back asleep. Her world was my chest and my arms. The distance she could see was from my bosom to my face; she was content.

Now she is only occasionally in a cuddling mood, letting me hold her long enough to feed her milk. She then slides off to go pull all her toys from the bin and to open the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen.  She’s babbling, eating all the food, drinking three times the amount of formula she used to, she’s crawling and climbing up stairs and walking further each new day. She grows to look more like her dad every day, and I’m putting my hope in the fact that maybe our next one will be my mini-me! Her due date was April 6, but she didn’t make an appearance until April 14th. This time last year I was waddling around attempting to not flare up the terrible sciatic nerve pain brought on by my huge belly. A year ago my husband and I were dreaming about who we would meet: a boy or a girl? Benjamin (as was our boy name) or Adeline?

Despite my attempts, I know that I did not capture every possible moment of learning, or cuteness overload- such as the funny little smile she gave me after the first time I brushed her teeth. The minty flavor was weird, but her reaction to it was unbelievably sweet. While it’s such an amazing thing to watch her little brain grow and develop, I can’t help but be a little melancholy that the time has gone, and continues to go by so fast. My little eight pound five ounce baby is becoming so quickly a curious, exploring toddler.

I was warned about so much pertaining to motherhood: you’ll not sleep for months, you’ll watch them sleep, time goes by so fast, you’ll get used to how messy they get, there’s so much poop/pee/spit up...etc. Yes, all those things are true, but I never predicted how much I would miss and love the whole process. There were days that I would cry from lack of sleep, or frustration, or just simply feeling like I had no answers; but those were the days and nights she needed me most. Although she is still very small, and no doubt still needs me in every way, she is changing and evolving so quickly.
My mom joked that, just like she’s watched me, I’ll watch Adeline grow up and get married and have her own baby in the next 20 years. I told her that I could hardly imagine that, but truthfully it’s all to easy to imagine. If this first year has already come and gone… Lord willing the next 19 will go by a little slower, if only to be able to watch my baby grow up.

Post Partum...Depression.

Almost a year ago (11 months to be exact) I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. After one night and a day and a half we brought our sweet baby home to our little apartment for the first time. It was very refreshing to be home, and I felt rejuvenated and was straight up giddy when I took my first shower after coming home. My belly was still sticking out a little bit and I was sore but I felt really good. My sweet Mother in law set up a meal train for us and I was looking forward to having meals brought to us, and hoped that they wouldn’t stay too long to ogle at our new baby.
Now it’s funny. At the time I didn’t’ feel very overwhelmed- we usually had just one visitor every other day, and there were only a couple people who were not close family or best friends who stayed a little too long, but I didn’t feel too bothered by it at the time. Post partum is weird. Post partum depression is even weirder. True to what people say, you don’t really know you had it until you’re out of it, and I would say that I had a pretty mild case of it too, but nonetheless, looking back I definitely see where I had some crazy stuff going on in my head. And, as much as some people might be hurt and I’m sorry, I just wish we hadn’t had such a steady stream of visitors. I just didn’t understand how to say no without hurting feelings. What I’ve processed from that time is as follows.
It took me a solid six weeks to figure out what a baby is. Does that sound silly? It’s true. I’ve loved babies and wanted babies all my life, and yet having your first one is alien. It took that solid six weeks to really figure out how she worked, and how to nurse, and how to time the day so that I could take a shower and eat and take walks. I was terrified of leaving the house for more than five minutes at a time, especially without my husband. I also had this weird sense that something would go wrong with the baby if we weren’t in the same room at all times…. And if someone else held her for too long I internally would get very panicky. I was thankful and relieved when my baby started to get fussy because it meant that I had an “excuse” to get her back. One time we had visitors (I honestly don’t remember who, so sorry to who it was) and I happened to be nursing my baby when they arrived, but they were so impatient to hold her and kept telling her to “hurry up” I was almost in tears. To my annoyance this day, I did stop nursing her so this person could hold her, but in my mind that completely messed up the entire rest of the day. (It didn’t help that I had to supplement and that she fought nursing anyway).
I realize now that, of course at anytime I could have said “no” or “wait” or “please leave, I’m tired”… but what happened is that I felt all these different things and I didn’t know how to express myself.
I called my mom so much those first few weeks (she did come visit for several days… but I could have just had her live with me for months), especially when I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t have very much milk for my hungry daughter. After my husband left to go back to work (baby was six weeks old) I called my mom, and she didn’t answer. I called my sister, at this point crying, and she answered and heard me sobbing on the other end. “Wh-what’s wrong? Are you okay?” she asked me very gently. “I’m sad” was all I could get out and when she asked why all I could say was “I don’t know.” My mom got on the phone and talked to me for quite some time, prayed with me and we hung up. I was feeling much, much better, but still sad and frustrated. Again, with all the hormones and mood swings I craved company and hated it at the same time. I needed help but didn’t have the energy for social interaction. I realize now that I wanted a couple specific people, one being my mom of course, to be around all the time but I didn’t really have the wherewithal to communicate that. I was also so much in a daze of nursing and sleeping that I didn’t know that’s what I wanted in the first place.
At about two and half/three months I had a schedule figured out, I was going over to dinner at my in-laws house at least once a week if not more (I always looked forward to Thursdays and Friday morning coffee!!!) and I started to come out of that post-partum daze. I craved going on walks, I accepted the fact that I had to supplement/switch to formula, I started to lose the baby weight and every day got easier and easier. Oh and baby was sleeping for like six hours at night, and I was happy. I was JOYFUL. I had a routine, my baby was amazing and so cute, I had people to see and life was evening out. My sweet husband was being as supportive as he could from afar, and the Lord was answering prayers in that I started feeling just fine.
On another note, I would like to give a shout out to my Aunt Linda, who invited me over (or let me invite myself over) to your house several times to just get some social interaction- Thank you!!!! After the initial period of me getting used to a small human who needed me for everything, getting out of the house and getting invited out (and being thought of) was so instrumental in me feeling like a regular human being again. Aunt Linda, you were encouraging, you made me feel like I was doing everything right, you gave me a place to be and you let me eat your delicious food. I would also like to thank my friends Hannah and Alexa- you ladies were just yourselves and that’s exactly what I needed and wanted. You both had kids so you understood everything and always knew what to say. Thanks for making time when I came to visit you at work all the time, Alexa. Of course my mom and my mom-in-law were (and still are) always there when I needed advice, some girl time or a mom. I know that you both were just always ecstatic for the baby, but I never felt (or feel) overlooked. You both let me do my thing, you never have a criticism, always just love for me and my baby.
If this is extra cheesy and gooey… oh well!
To new moms, or new moms-to-be: Don’t rush it. It’s okay to feel scared or sad or angry. It’s okay to tell people “no”, to be demanding and to not immediately have the “motherly instinct”. If something is going on, and your doctor or lactation consultant or pediatrician is only giving you one answer, go ask somebody else. Read “Becoming Babywise” by Robert Bucknam. It’s an absolute lifesaver. Trust Jesus. The end.

Somewhere in the 3-5 Months mark, feeling myself again!

Somewhere in the 3-6 weeks while husband was still home with us.

Somewhere in the 4-5 month mark, eating fruit and screaming.

Traveling with an Infant

Something we have gotten asked often enough is how do we travel now that we have a baby? Is it harder? And I always say that you still can totally travel however often and wherever you want, it just takes a little extra planning and more stuff than you think you need.
After thinking about it for a couple days, I thought I’d make a list of advice and things you may want to bring with you to make your travels easier.
We just got back from a week of driving around Montana and Northern Idaho. It was so fun to see family and friends, but we probably clocked about 20 hours in the car total- between driving to our destinations and then around towns when we were there. Since Baby was born we have gone camping, flown to Florida and back, flown to Seattle, driven to Seattle, driven to our hometown and now up to MT, so I feel like we have a pretty good handle on what we need. Planes or cars- maybe some of this can help another mama get more prepared for traveling with babies.

Whether you’re camping or driving or flying somewhere with a baby, I’ve found its helpful to have these things:

If formula feeding: besides extra formula and bottles, we like to pack travel size dish soap and bottle brush. When you get to the destination just set up a bottle station right away to establish a little normalcy and organization. We bring a new tin of formula, three bottles, bottle brush and soap with us everywhere. I also keep a water bottle for formula in the diaper bag in case we are somewhere that doesn’t have a ready water source (such as the time we got stuck in the snow for 3 hours on our way back home this last trip).

Baby-jail: bring something where baby can safely be out of the way but still in sight. We bring a pack n’ play (for sleep and play) and a bumbo that also serves as a high chair when we travel. I recommend looking for a bumbo on EBay, surprisingly they were expensive on Amazon.
Diapers and Wipes: more than you think you need. Pack what looks good and then throw in ten more. (We also have a little fold-able foam 1X3 changing pad that we bring with us everywhere, and that has saved countless white sheets and couches from poops)

Clothes: I feel like I basically pack all of Baby’s clothes that she currently fits in- which was barely enough because she spit up and got food on almost every outfit I had brought. I did run out of pajamas for her. (Doing laundry would have helped. Ha.)
Toys: I try to grab a few toys that she is familiar with, and a couple that she hasn’t played with for a while so they are “new” and keep her busy a little longer- especially on a plane. Even though most people have been really understanding so far, it’s still hard to be the parents with the crying baby.

Schedule: Although it is easier said than done, try to keep the babes on their schedule. It will keep some semblance of normalcy and the transition to the new place will go a little easier, as well as the transition when you’re back at home. Keep nap time and bed times the same, it sure helped keep me sane during our travels!
Road trip tips: We have had  a lot of success of planning our departure time around Baby nap. Everything we can do is done when she wakes up in the morning, we do finishing touches and then by the time she is ready for her next nap we take off in the car and get a solid 2-2.5 hours of drive time before she needs to be fed or we need to stop.

Plane tips: during take off and landing ear pops, we have had success when baby either had a bottle or a pacifier in during those times. Landings were not her favorite but we’ve only had one major melt down out of our 10 flights thus far. During the plane ride itself make sure baby is not too hot or too cold; one time she was fighting a nap really hard for about 15 minutes before I thought to take off her jacket and then she relaxed and fell asleep right away. We also keep a couple different kinds of snacks on hand now too and rotate through them to keep her busy and interested.

In conclusion, these are some things we stick to when traveling with our almost 10 month old! But, please don’t think that all of our travels go perfectly or without hitches! We are still learning and getting better at it every time we go out! In fact, try as I might on this trip, Baby would not sleep in her pack n’ play at night she ended up with us every night we were gone (she moves around a lot in her sleep!) We forgot dish soap this latest time, and had to improvise when cleaning our bottles while at the hotel we stayed! Baby did keep to her bedtime really well, her naps were a little wonky, but her eating habits got really out of wack. She still pooped a few times every day so she got enough to eat, but I was still stressed! We had a great time and everyone survived, and there are always curve balls, something forgotten, blow-outs, and general life happenstances. What I want you to take away is this: Just because you have a baby now (or several), still travel, go out to restaurants, camp, backpack, and all the general things you did before baby. You can do it! You and baby will do great.

Your First Baby is the Experiment One

Good morning! I’m just going to take a few bullet points and talk about some “controversial” parenting tactics that are constantly being debated.

Number 1: Pacifiers. Are they a do or don’t? When we had Baby at the hospital they had a strict no pacifiers rule because I guess a baby at some point (and this is TRAGIC) had one in and asphyxiated. So those are not given to you if you birth at a hospital. However as soon as we came home, we stuck a pacifier in the little one’s mouth and she loved it, and we loved less crying honestly. My school of thought was that I didn’t mind pacifiers because it’s easier to take away a pacifier than a thumb (also, she never “found” her thumb anyway as a means of self soothing). My experience with thumbs is limited to the fact that my little sister sucked her thumb, and my parents had a heck of a time getting her to stop, and didn’t really succeed until she was four. Now I face the daunting task of transitioning my little girl out of having one for sleep. I think with our next kid I’m going to try not giving one and see how he or she does.

Number 2: When to Start Giving Solid Foods VS Exclusively Breastfeeding/Formula Until One Year (or longer)
I will say that a traditional pediatrician seems to push solid foods fairly soon. I’ve read all sorts of things regarding when babies are ready for some rice cereal or baby oatmeal- how many teeth they have is a sign that their digestive system is ready for more, when they start watching you eat/opening their mouth when you take a bite o food. I also recently learned that the push to start solid foods between 4-6 months is so that their risk of allergies to food in the future go down. (I’m aware that there are exceptions to every case of course and that genetics also play a role. And I will say if you suspect your child has an allergy go get a proper diagnosis from a doctor). Personally, Baby had her two bottom teeth by four months and was showing all other signs of being interested in food, so we started giving her baby cereal with every feeding and she loved it. At 9 months, she basically eats anything we eat- from scrambled eggs to chicken “soup” (just the chicken/onions/carrots) and of course, I’m still giving her a bottle before I feed her food. Now this is just what I chose to do with my kid, and I had no personal problem with it, but obviously other moms choose to breastfeed exclusively and that is awesome!

Number 3: Co-sleeping VS Independent Sleeping
Before she was born, my husband and I decided that we would not do long term co-sleeping. And I read a really great book that outlined how to get baby to sleep through the night by herself, without having to do some sort of ritual to get her to go to sleep- such as rocking/nursing/driving them to sleep. We are at the point where even if I wanted her to go to sleep with me, she won’t! Again, I’d read different pros and cons about co sleeping. We had her with us while she was still eating at night but by about 4 months she was sleeping in a bassinet that we kept by our bed at night. At nine months we have her in her crib in her room just down the hall from us. She goes to bed at 8 (currently waking up again at midnight because her teeth hurt, so we give her baby Tylenol and she goes back to sleep) and wakes up around 7:30-8:00. Some mamas say that they don’t need their babies to be so independent right away- and they don’t, but it was just our decision to keep our marriage bed to ourselves. It also is a huge stress reliefe that I’m not stuck putting her down for a nap or bedtime for more than 10 minutes, I swaddle, pacifier, kiss and hug and put her down and she just goes to sleep!

Number 4: Swaddling VS Not and Back Sleeping VS Tummy Sleeping

This one is a combo set I guess. I wouldn’t consider these subjects heatedly debated among mothers, but I’d just like to share my experience with these in general. I think every mom hears or reads that babies like being swaddled because it reminds them of being safe and cozy in the womb. They make awesome “auto” swaddlers that make it really easy for new parents to get the hang of tucking the babe into a blanket. Well, the trouble that I’ve run into is that now Baby has a hard time going to sleep when she isn’t swaddled, and sometimes she’ll just stand up and cry for eternity in her crib because she now can hoist herself up. In addition to that babies figure out how to bust out of the swaddle and the risk is then that they’ll end up covering their nose and mouth with the loose blanket and that’s not good. In order to avoid her busting out, loosing her pacifier or standing up, I’ve started leaving one arm out, flip flopping which arm so that she isn’t mainly dominate with one arm. So far the transition has been good, and since she has an arm out, she can put her pacifier back in by herself and roll over onto her tummy- which is now her favorite way to sleep. Speaking of tummy sleeping, “back is best” is the current mindset being proclaimed among the professionals these days. According to my lactation consultant from a few months ago, 15 years ago, tummy was best… and now it’s the opposite but I’ve read that when babies can roll over and that they start doing that to go to sleep, leave them. How exhausting would it be to continually be going in, waking up yourself and them to roll them back over onto their back? Just make sure that when they start doing that to go to sleep, there are no extra blankets or pillows for them to roll onto or get snuggled in too close.

Some questions for my readers:
What do you moms do to get your littles to go to sleep?
What has been your experience with solid foods or no? Any allergies?
What is your opinion about co-sleeping?

Thanks for reading!

A Little Life Update

Hello! I've been thinking that our friends and family might enjoy a little life update from the Adams family!
Living in North Idaho has been exactly what we needed. Husband is home from the ship until March and being together again as a family is amazing. The transition when he got home was one of the smoothest as long as we have been married (a total answer to prayer). I honestly feel like all we have been doing together is laughing and raising our baby. I know that for our family in Boise it is hard to have us away, but have comfort in the face that the Lord has us here on purpose and that we are happy and enjoying the cute college town.
We actually were in Boise very briefly a week or so ago for a family emergency. Everything turned out ok; the grandmas are recovering, and even though we went down under exacting circumstances it was nice to connect with as many family that we could.
We have some projects we are working on while Husband is home! Some of which including unpacking a few final boxes and finding cute bookshelves to put the rest of our book and trinkets away! The other, more fun one, is that we got some new recording equipment and have had tons of fun recording covers of our favorite songs- me usually singing and Husband singing or playing th guitar.
Baby is doing great! She is almost hitting 18 lbs, still on the tall side and her head is finally measuring average on the bell curve as opposed to in the 90%. As of today she now has a total of SIX teeth! Her top four are still coming down but they are all through the gums and making her pretty fussy. She loves every food I put in front of her, except banana... and she will only feed herself. If I try to feed her with a spoon she pushes out her little lips and will dodge and turn her head away until I leave her alone. She's a quick little crawler, and of course finds the cabinets, water bottles, apples and fridge much more fun to play with than her actual toys. She'll occasionally munch on some toy animals but that's the extent. She loves "reading" books, and can turn pages on a board book, and says a variety of sounds. She loves saying "mama" and "da-da" especially when she feels she is in distress! Her eyes are still blue, isn't that crazy?! We are thinking they will stay that way. She is absolutely beautiful and smart, and overall a pretty easy baby to have as our first one! I'm so curious to see if the others down the road will have the same happy disposition.
We want to do some traveling up to Coeur'd Lane for some skiing and to Butte, MT to visit family... and who knows where else? The end of March is a while away and we want to make up for lost time! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, they are definitely being answered! My own have been answered as well in the form of several new amazing friendships! There is a Calvary Chapel here. The church is on the smaller end, the preaching is great, and the people who go there were so welcoming right away. We've been able to start quality friendships with people who are strong believers and some who have kids- all of which are huge praises!

Anyway, since a picture is worth a thousand words, here are some snippets of our time together so far! Thanks for reading!

Matching PJs!

Cuties

We got her a cozy snow suite!

Some of you may have seen a few of these fun pictures we took when Baby turned 9 months

She moves her high chair around the kitchen

Applesauce is her current favorite!

Lazy mornings are our routine with Daddy :)

Starting a Diet Around the Holidays

The beginning of November held a realization for me: I did not have to wait one more second to start being healthier. Around the holidays, many people psych themselves up to start being the "better them" for New Year's- we've all made our resolutions but how many people really follow through with them past the first three months of the year? I certainly hadn't before, and I didn't want to keep telling myself "Tomorrow" "Monday" "After the weekend"- I made the decision to have a healthier lifestyle on a Wednesday afternoon.

If you're still with me, the suspense is now over: I began the Keto diet. 

Now, first of all, I hate the word diet because in my mind it is synonymous with the mindset that you do something for a certain amount of time, get the results, and then go back to what you were doing before. This will not be my story. 

Second of all, I did tons of research: 2FitDocs on YouTube, Magic Pill from Netflix, tons of articles and tips. I'm sure you all know what the basis of Keto is, you cut carbs so that your body will stop using those for energy and will instead use the excess fat in your body by releasing ketones into your blood therefore having your body be in an extended state of ketosis. You also want to eat more high protein and high fat meals (yes, bacon is allowed but it's not like I'm eating that with every meal). As the Magic Pill explains, fat somehow got a bad rap, "fat makes you fat", but in reality, good fats in food are good for you! Guess what makes you fat? Sugar! Guess what your body turns carbs into? Sugar! 

After all my research, I'm doing Keto for six months, trying to eat between 25-35 grams of carbs per day, and then I will re-introduce some grains and legumes in moderation back into my diet. After two solid weeks I began to see success in my body. Not only am I losing weight and inches, but I have not had a blood sugar crash since I've been doing it. The high protein, vegetables, and fat consumption leaves you feeling full and more energized throughout the day and in between meals.This has been awesome and this has helped me to stay super motivated to continue this lifestyle!

I don't have cheat days, but I have had to get creative with recipes and this girl has been an awesome source of motivation and meal ideas as she herself has been doing Keto for quite a while. She even has some desserts (I've made Keto brownies and keto ice cream and they've both turned out super yummy!) and cocktails.

Something interesting that I have yet to research more is that a lot of carbs you see on the nutritional label are derived from sugars, for example Egg-Nog you buy at the store has a total 27 G of carbohydrates, but 20 G of that is sugars. I'm wondering if the weight loss and feeling more energized (and my skin is super clear) has more to do with less sugar in my diet than a lack of carbs. I'll be able to take better notes of that when I try grains and legumes again in May when my six months is over. 

In addition to keto, I am working out at least five days a week. I'm intermittently doing high intensity work outs and strengthening yoga, all of which has been amazing. For me there was a three day hump where, after working out for three days in a row I was sore, tired and unmotivated but I soldiered on through days four and five. I found a groove and I've been loving getting stronger! Post-partum left a lot of muscles to be strengthened and I feel so much better in my lower back and my posture has immensely improved! It is hard to be consistent, especially when every day looks a little bit different with my sweet babe, but its worth it to feel confident and strong. In the end a healthier me is a healthier and happier wife and mother. I'm loving this new lifestyle, who says you can't start your New Year's Resolution two months early?! 

Thanks for reading! I'd love to answer any questions or receive tips or fun Keto-friendly recipes! :)